by an idiot defines... April 28, 2019
Jerry: sup homie
Tom: hey fucko
Bitc- i mean mom: WHAT DID YOU SAY TOM?
Tom: its just an inside joke mom chill!
devi- dad: NO SWEARING IN THIS HOUSE! JERRY GO HOME I GOT TO BEAT HIM UP WITH THE BELT.
Jerry: The fuck?
Tom: eh dont worry about it happens all the time
Oh boy its child protective services time!
and thats the story on how the parents of tom went to fucking prison!
by Alexander the Great 412 November 8, 2019
by fluffypenis June 25, 2014
The people that every child hates, whether they say so or not. The only ways of escaping them include dying, turning 18 and buying a house, or simply running away. The last one is not reccommened.
-CHARACTER TRAITS & HABITS:-
• They think that they know everything about you, including your food, music, movie, personality, and sexual preference. Once again, they're always right, even when you're obviously nothing like what they say.
• They believe that they reserve the right to automatically win any arguement of their choosing. When the far greater majority believes the oppsosite of what they say, but is comprised if children, the parent/s can automatically win and end the argument by saying "ENOUGH!" or "too bad", and nothing else can be said about it without serious risk of getting grounded or being ranted at/dismembered. This goes for anything else they say as well.
• They will often embarass you in front of your friends. The parent/s will often claim that they "forgot" or they "won't do it again", despite the fact that even they know that that isn't true. Every person has at least one story of this.
• Nearly every father will attempt to crack a wisey/pun/obviously crappy joke to your friends. Said friends will either pretend to laugh and then secretly shun you, or just drop you and not hang out with you.
-Parents: Hey son! You know that 2+2=5?
-Child: Actually, we all know that it's 4...
-Parent: *swears under their breath* AHA, but I was just testing you!
-Parent: Come on son, let's go to the P!NK festival!
-Child: *honestly* AWW DAD, I hate P!NK! You take me every year and I never enjoy myself!
-Parent: Yes you do, you just haven't given it a chance. Now shut up.
-Child: Dad, can I go to the party and play HALO?
-Parent: No you can't! Those things are bad for every part of you! You are never going to a party! EVER!
-Child: But dad-!
-Parent: SHUT UP KID OR YOU'RE GROUNDED!
-Child: Now don't say anything, just drop me off at school.
-Mother: Sure thing darling.
*2 MINUTES LATER*
-Mother: Now don't forget darling, we're going tampon shopping on the weekend, and you can get that pink fluffy SESAME STREET one you've been gasbagging about! I love you honey-poo!
-Friend: Ms. Smith, can I have an ice cream?
-Mother: Sure thing, kid!
-Child: Mother, may I have an ice cream, please?
-Mother: NO, YOU'RE GROUNDED, REMEMBER? GO AWAY!
-Child, thinking: Man I hop dad doesn't show off his legendary humour skills...
-Father: HEY KIDS! Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip? TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!!! *cracks up* Man I'm hilarious! Eh, kids?
-Friends: No, we're gonna beat up your child which we used to be friends with now.
by -ANON379- June 25, 2011
The only thing stopping you from living life and learning from your mistakes. They take away your freedom for no reason and never let you do anything fun. They're nosy too so you have to keep a billion secrets from them.
Joe: Dude, why cant you come to the movies tonight with me, Lauren, and Vicki??
Billy: My parents grounded me for not calling my grandmother on her birthday. Laaame. They also think Im gonna get someone preggers so I cant hang out with girls.
by spazzimagee123 May 29, 2009
1) People who think a "normal teenage social life" involves studies and chores.
2) People who think a drivers license is a "go out and pick so-and-so up from practice/supermarket shopping" license.
3) Someone who thinks the stories and problems you tell them in confidence are fun things to share with friends and family.
4) People in the previous generation who believe nothing has changed since they were teenagers.
5) People who believe school vacations/ weekends are one of the following: family time, chore time, study time, homework time, "let's go do something I want to do" time, "let's wake up earlier than you would on a school day to get an early start" time.
6) People who can vote but still manage to screw the country over.
7) People who want us to form our own opinions as long as they influenced them.
8) People who don't care about global warming, greenhouse effect, extinction, nuclear war, or the world going to hell because they figure they'll be dead before the worst of it happens.
9) The people who think we should have censors on our music when all of theirs talked about rape, sex, and drugs.
10) The people who have 3+ kids when they can barely handle 1 and say they had the others by "accident."
11) Someone who thinks it is appropriate to come on to campus looking for you because you have taken more than 3 minutes to get to their car.
12) The people who you work for without pay and knew parenting was a hard responsibility but still expect something in return.
13) The people who say grades don't matter as long as it's your best, but get angry if you get a grade lower than an A-.
14) Someone who thinks long hair is unacceptable when they walked around with mohawks and fros.
15) Someone who thinks spending MORE time with them is going to fix your relationship.
by RDCM October 25, 2007
by Me47 June 13, 2010